Just like every thing we own can be destroyed by us knowingly or unknowingly, our dating life or relationship life is also susceptible to self-destruction. The manner in which the partners treat themselves can either promote or undermine their relationship. Once you start dating, there are some changes you must make in your lifestyle in order to accommodate your partner. For instance, you no longer think only about yourself but about your partner too, every action you take have to be calculated, you have to carry your partner along in almost everything you do, you have to learn to share your valuable time, space, money, etc. Those are just few of the lifestyle changes that goes with dating or being in a relationship.
At some point in your dating life, you get burned out or depressed and you feel like giving up and moving on. You feel like going back to the old you. Of course, a healthy, happy relationship is what everyone seeks but good things come with a price. The way you treat your partner can have a huge effect in their life. Treat them bad and they start feeling like they are not pretty enough, good enough, lovable enough and so on. Treat them well and you will see them very happy and doing their best to make you happy too.
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Whether you are aware or unaware that you are self-destroying your relationship or dating life, the purpose of this article is to bring to your notice, the different ways through which you might be undermining your relationship.
6 Ways Through Which You Might Be self-Destroying Your Dating Life/Relationship
- Trespassing Your Boundaries
The fact that you are dating or in a relationship doesn’t give you the right to disrespect your partner. Right from the onset of your dating life, you must respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships are built around trust and self-respect. You don’t go about checking your partners phones and computers without their consent. You don’t take their money without their consent. You don’t use fowl languages on them be it privately or publicly!. If you maintain your boundaries, your partner will also do same.
- Setting Unnecessary Rules
There are some sensible natural rules that applies to every form of relationship. Respecting ones boundaries is one of such rules. Honesty is yet another rule of a healthy relationship. Some people make the mistake of setting rules in their dating life of which some of them are not reasonable enough. Some of these rules end up creating fears in the minds of the both or either of the partners involved. This fear will eventually deter you from enjoying a healthy mind-free dating life or relationship.
- Not Knowing The Dos And Don’ts
No matter how awesome or cool your partner is, you must try and understand them. Pay attention to their spoken language, body language and even try to read their mind. Find out what your partner likes and dislikes and try to abide by them. After doing something and you find out it feels off or your partner doesn’t like it, you have to stop doing it . Doing those things your partner hates will only cause more troubles and might kill the relationship.
- Demanding Too Much
Many people make this mistake of demanding that their partner live up to their own standards. Don’t forget that your partner had his/her own life before the dating started. Do you think that your partner will be happy and contented in the relationship?. Time will come when your partner will be fed up with your demands and will quit the relationship. In the other hand, it might push your partner away from you or lead to tension in your relationship or dating life.
- Double Dating Or Cheating
Dating more than one person at the same time will definitely undermine your dating life. It will prevent you from taking full part in the relationship. Either of the partners will feel that there is still a part of you that you are not giving to them. Out of curiosity, they will try to find out what is wrong until they eventually discover that you are seeing another person. And then your world will come crashing down. The same thing goes for those dating only one partner but decided to cheat along the line. Nothing ends or deforms a good relationship faster than double dating or cheating!
- The Comparison Issue
Everyone is not the same. If you find yourself comparing your partner to your ex, it is a good indication that you’re not emotionally healed from your last relationship. It can cause lots of problems in your dating life. We all know it’s difficult to start a new relationship when you’re still not over your last. Therefore, it is better to start another relationship when you have gotten over the previous one unless you want the new one to end badly.
- Trust Issues
No explanation is needed here. Any relationship that is devoid of trust is bound to be messy. Imagine hanging out with your friends while your partner accuses you of cheating on him/her. A good relationship is built on trust!
By being aware of all these behaviours that are destroying our dating life/relationship, we can better control our ourselves and encourage an atmosphere of love and happiness. For you to enjoy a healthy relationship, you must trust your partner, compare your partner to no one, demand less of your partner, respect your boundaries and never cheat on partner!
Read More: The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples
What other factors do you think can cause distress in ones dating life? Feel free to share with us using the comment box below!
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Ochemba Callistus Chinedu is currently pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Medical Laboratory science and hopes to become a Medical Lab Scientist. He enjoys reading, writing, traveling, general health, and learning new things.